An office romance is a bad idea, but an even worse idea was the new Netflix rom-com Office Romance.

Netflix isn’t playing coy with their movie title here: what you get is exactly what it says on the tin. However, with a movie title this generic, surely the powers that be would come up with something a little cleverer than the movie’s basic moniker suggests, right? Nope.

Clever, this isn’t. In Office Romance, high-flying airline CEO Jackie Cruz (Jennifer Lopez) is being sued by another airline because (try to follow along here) she met with an airport official in a setting that could be misconstrued as a date, which it was by the official, but even though she shot him down he allowed her airline to have three gates at Dallas-Fort Worth airport. The CEO of another airline (Roger Bart, every bit as slimy as he was on Desperate Housewives) and Louis Litt from Suits (it’s actor Rick Hoffman, actually) call her in to give a deposition so they can insinuate that she traded sexual favors for gates. Jackie’s usual attorney is out of commission after nearly choking to death on a breakfast burrito, so she calls in an underling: Daniel Blanchflower, played by Brett Goldstein.

Yes, Roy Kent from Ted Lasso is in this, but don’t get too excited. Daniel helps her skate out of the deposition unscathed and the two find they have measurable chemistry. (As in, you can measure the erection Daniel sports as they shake hands on a job well done.) This movie is not shy about anything, as you’ll see.

Well, after Daniel’s wood makes its presence known, there’s nowhere to go except to the Dominican Republic, as Daniel is now Jackie’s new favorite attorney. While they are ensconced in the tropical paradise, nature takes its course and the two find themselves entwined in an – can you guess? – office romance.

Which, as put-upon HR rep George Dudek (Tony Hale from Arrested Development) explicitly tells both Daniel and Jackie, is explicitly against company policy. But it wouldn’t be much of a movie if the co-worker canoodling stopped at this point, and it sure wouldn’t be a movie called Office Romance.

Despite it being against company policy, the two lovebirds very obviously do their thing, at home, in public, in other tropical locations, but especially at work. Even so, very few people in this large enterprise even suspect there’s anything going on. Only Jackie’s right hand woman Sydney Bloom (Betty Gilpin, who is really good in this but deserves better) sniffs out (not literally, thank goodness) that Jackie’s shagging her legal eagle. But Syd’s got other priorities, as she spends the first 90 minutes of the movie heavily pregnant, before giving birth on Daniel’s desk in a scene so graphic that it deserves a content warning. They don’t just say “the head is coming!” – you see it busting out of her vagina. A rom-com first, perhaps?

At any rate, as the movie approaches climax, it all blows up on the two of them, which you’d expect, but somehow a movie that utterly mismanaged the “com” of this rom-com manages to end on a high note with some “rom,” however unrealistic and unearned.

On the plus side, Office Romance has Netflix money so everything looks good, and they could afford a great cast. In addition to those already mentioned, Jodie Whittaker from Doctor Who plays Daniel’s incarcerated sister, and is a hoot. Bradley Whitford hams it up as the burrito lawyer turned burrito victim, and Amy Sedaris is wonderful (no surprises) as a private detective with swerving loyalties. And it’s hard to deny that Goldstein and Lopez have chemistry because they really do. Lopez looks amazing, too. She may be older than Goldstein by a decade or more, but you cannot tell.

Brett Goldstein is not Roy Kent here, unfortunately. He may look the same (very, very fit), but mild-mannered Daniel is nothing like brash, trash-talking Roy. Daniel’s a lawyer who is ostensibly good at his job, but he makes the worst possible decisions every time he’s near Jackie, thus making him look pretty foolish nearly any time he’s not doing lawyer stuff. Jackie’s not thinking with “the big head” here either, though. But by far, the biggest on-the-job failure in Office Romance is Goldstein’s, because he co-wrote the damn script with Joe Kelly. This pains me because Goldstein also wrote for the brilliant Ted Lasso, so he’s obviously got talent. Ol Parker handled the directing duties here and surely shares some of the blame.

The characters find themselves spouting dialogue that is both corny and ridiculous far too often, in situations that range from implausible to ludicrous. The climactic scene of the film takes place at a press conference and is so breathtakingly stupid it boggles the mind. And then there’s a lengthy post-credits scene that is more cringeworthy than the birth scene, though no one flashes their genitalia. Also, this movie isn’t much of a comedy: I laughed exactly once, at an expression pulled by Tony Hale as the HR guy. The rest of the time I was just embarrassed for everyone involved.

As promised, here’s that warning I mentioned: this movie is hella dumb and if you watch it all the way through, you will see a baby being born in a rather graphic fashion. But if you’re into that sort of movie, you might like it a lot more than I did.

Office Romance is now showing on Netflix. Watch at your own risk.